Accomplisher or Destroyer?
Our LIfe Group at church, has decided to read James as a group. We are to read one chapter again and again each day for an entire week, then meet together on Tuesday nights and discuss what we feel God has been saying to us. This week: James 3. Unfortunately, I have been crazy busy and haven’t really been able to let the chapters sink in nor have I been really able to read and re-read each chapter until this week, when a series of unfortunate events including my family being sick with the stomach flu–do I have the time to read and linger in the word. Sad isn’t it, that God uses such disturbing things to grow us–I guess its the only way to oftentimes get our attention.
Anyway……
“….Teachers are held to the strictest standards. And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you’d have a perfect person, in perfect control of life. A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. This is scary: you can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—its never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on…” [James 3 MSG]
When I read this, I’m reminded of a good friend who in their childhood was a little paranoid about making mistakes with their language or words. My friend, would say something out loud then mouth silently what he had just said to himself to be certain he said it correctly. Unfortunately, for him all of us kids around him thought his strange paranoid behaivior was similar to the old kung fu theater movies, and he became the brunt of a lot of jokes. Occasionally still today, a few of us will get together and play “who am I?” a silly game where we do some sort of mannerism of people we know and everyone tries to guess who it is. I’m pretty sure no one has ever guessed it wrong.
The saddest part about this little exchange is that I think he was on to something. Although he mouthed the words out of fear of how he was saying things, he probably made fewer “destroyer” words than anyone else I knew. “a word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything–or destroy it.” Wouldn’t it be amazing if we attempted to internally mouth the words before we speak them?
After reading James 3, I’ve begun to ponder many of the greatest disappointments of my life–few of them include people’s actions against me, I can’t remember those. I remember most of all the destructive words people said to me.
A person who was musically inclined and who was a “role-model” to me once told me , “you know your sister is a far better singer than you, I think your okay, but I think that she got the musical talent.” This statement said to me when I was roughly ten, still sticks with me today. In fact, for 6 years after this statement was said, I did not feel at all comfortable with singing. I would softly whisper songs during church too afraid of people hearing my okay voice. In my senior year of highschool, a woman whom I admire, and our worship leader overheard me singing from the front row in church during the worship service (I was standing there by myself and thought that the music was really loud, loud enough to cover me singing so loudly). She encouraged me to join the worship team and said that I actually sing quite well and would make a great addition to the team. I’m not trying to brag..honestly, but in saying that to me she accomplished something in me. I had no idea that singing was such a big part of who I am. It’s through worship that I most feel connected to Him and through being comfortable with my voice, I feel that I am able to express myself through singing to God–and although the quality of my voice shouldn’t matter, and doesn’t anymore the words expressed in my early years made me fearful of how I expressed myself to the Lord. How radical did my worship experience become when I wasn’t afraid anymore?
More recently, I have embarked on the new endeavor to start my own daycare out of my house to be able to stay home with Oren and to continue bringing in some income. Many of you who know me, know that I do not generally make rash decisions, and seriously thought hard and long about this decision–it took me roughly 8 months to finally come to the conclusion to quit my full time job, and it finally came after my daycare person told me Oren had taken his first steps the other day and they had forgot to tell me. I wasn’t mad, just bummed that I missed it, as I had his first word, rolling over, sitting up, etc.
Someone close to me basically told me that starting a daycare would basically amount to nothing, I would make no money in it, and that it is a waste of my education. I had begun to believe that, a little, maybe internally. But, it was starting to eat at my heart. Why after receiving a bachelor’s degree was I starting a daycare to work 12 hour days and make the same as I did when I worked 8? Why was I stressing so much to get everything done for a daycare liscense? Why would I choose to spend 12 hours of my day changing other people’s kids diapers? Then part of me, being the rebellious punk that I am–detemined to do it just to prove them wrong!
The truth is–the moment that my son became sick this week and I didn’t have to call an employer and apologize profusely for not being able to come in (I did have to call a few parents), and my son looked up at me and said, “Momma.” I knew that I had made the right decision and it doesn’t really matter what this person said to me. I love being home able to watch my son laugh hysterically during “mark it with an o” of “patty-cake” or when a you point and say “ball” to a picture of a ball and he giggles like your the stupidest person because, “hello mom–balls move, that certainly is not a ball”. I am able to be a part of his daily milestones. More importantly, I am able to make an impact on my son’s life that I was missing out on in the 3 or less daily hours with him, and I’ve been blessed to be able to do that for other people’s kids who unfortunately have to work.
I know we have a hard enough time controlling our own tongue-we shouldn’t expect others to be able to either. This week I’ve learned that I must let other people’s “small sparks” fly off of me and not let them be destroyers of who I am or who God calls me to be. I must find my accomplishments in Christ, and put on his flame-retardant armor and start watching my own words. The truth is, I don’t want to “ruin my world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on [anyone's] reputation”. Too often I have already done that, even this week, I’ve said some pretty destroying words to my husband, my son (although hopefully he’s too young to remember), I’m sure my friends, and if I am honest I’m sure my Savior as well. I need to take a lesson from my childhood friend and begin internally mouthing my words before speaking and again after–to possibly offer up the many apologies when I do make destroying comments. I need to start being an accomplisher–for my husbands sake, my son’s sake, my parents, inlaws, siblings, friends, etc. Maybe just maybe someday, by my words, I will help someone discover who they really truly are in Christ. At least I can make every attempt for I know “you can’t tame a tongue–it’s never been done” because “if you could find someone who speech as perfectly true, you’d have a perfect person, in perfect control of life.” That isn’t me, I’m far from perfect. But, I’ll work on it.
